Having a Desire for Marriage with No Prospects

Hey lovelies, it has been a while! I did not expect to be away for so long, but honestly just figuring life out, trying to maintain a work life balance, mental health & more. Will do a life update soon! But I am hoping you all are staying safe with this pandemic going on. Let us take some time today to pray for our families, friends, ourselves, and healing around the world as it is much needed. Now without further ado, let’s proceed to today’s topic:

     Okay so I’m pretty sure I am not the only woman here that desires to be a wife someday right? I must admit, hearing about couples getting divorced left and right is a bit discouraging, however the Lord knows our heart’s desires so we must cast our care unto him right? How many of us got to a point in our lives worrying that we will never find “the one”, so we take things into our own hands and start dating randoms hoping we can change them? That hit a nerve didn’t it? Don’t worry I am definitely guilty of doing this as well. Next thing I know, I am left a bit more broken, a bit more lonelier, and even MORE discouraged than before. There came a point in my life where I had to be content with possibly being alone for the rest of my life IF that was God’s will for me. As daunting as it sounds, it helped me in my season of singleness. As I said before, God knows our heart’s desires. He knows I have a strong desire for marriage, I pray for my husband as much as I can. He is faithful to me, and I know He is working on my love story. I got tired of wasting my time with randoms and compromising my values in order to appease them. I knew I no longer wanted to fornicate, go to the club/bar, and have him spend the night even when there was no relationship title. YES, I am being completely transparent, because I know I am relating to so many other women who are currently in this predicament. LADIES, LEAVE THAT MAN ALONE! If he is not contributing to your growth, and most importantly leading you closer to GOD, you need to remove yourself from the situation. I don’t care how good the sex is, his words, or his overall company, you should not have to compromise your worth for “love”, because it isn’t love.

     It’s okay to be single with no prospects, as boring as it seems you need to occupy your time with the LORD, not with a random who can barely do anything for you in the long run much less the short run. Delay instant gratification and fill yourself up with the LORD. How much would it pain you to know you have settled, when God was working on your “happily ever after” the entire time? Now you are stuck in a predicament that is hard to get out of. It’s not worth it beloved. You’re special, the bible says, “He who finds a wife, finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the LORD” (Proverbs 18: 22 NKJV). You might say “But Allison, what if he just needs me to help him grow a relationship with God, then he’ll know I am a good woman for him…” A lot of us think like this, especially when we fall in love with a guy’s potential. What’s my take on this? Well being someone who has been in unequally yoked relationships, it’s a hard pass for me. I ended up being heavily convicted by the Lord, yet compromising my morals, values, and most importantly my relationship with my Heavenly Father to keep a man. I prayed relentlessly for the Lord to change the person, so we could be together and you know what God told me? “Let it go.” That was the first time I heard His voice ever so clear. I say this to say sometimes that is not your job. Let God pursue his heart and change his ways and if the timing is right, see if God wants you to be with him, BUT you should not dwell on him to change especially if the signs are clear as day that this person is simply not the one for you and where you are trying to go in life.

     Now do not get me wrong, I know there are some success stories from missionary dating, but it is not advised. Remember: “Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil? (2 Corinthians 6:14-15 NLT). Now every individuals life is unique, so listen to what your Heavenly Father’s will for you is. As your sister in Christ, I just want to reassure you that you do not need to chase a man for commitment, you will know when the right man comes along because the LORD will reassure you. You won’t have constant conflicting emotions about someone, your Heavenly Father will bring you peace about that person. In the meantime, enjoy your season of singleness and write down goals you want to accomplish. Write down things you want to work on within yourself so you can be a good wife and a great child of God. Lastly, write down what you are looking for in a Godly spouse. Marriage is not going to save you from yourself, instead it will amplify everything about you! Work on yourself in the meantime and prepare for marriage. Continue praying for the well-being of your future husband, but remember there are still things that we could direct our attention to in this season. 

Reminder: You are beautiful and worthy of a healthy relationship and godly marriage where you won’t have to compromise your values and/or beliefs.

As always, I am praying for you.

With Love,

Allison